On Mon, 14 Jul 2003 11:40:41 +1200, "Brendon Ward"
Post by Brendon Wardis it ok for Christians couples to be flatmates?
My girlfriend and I live in a big city where rent is really expensive. We
are committed to each other and will most likely end up getting married
someday. We were coining the possibility of getting a flat together.
Having separate bedrooms as well. The thing is that I work at night and she
works during the day. We have kept our relationship as pure as they get.
We haven't even kissed yet. I think God has blessed this relationship
because we were having a few problems with communication, they were resolved
with God answered prayer. We are so close.
What are peoples thoughts on Christian couples living together, separate
bedrooms etc?
I think most of the points have been made already, but heres mine.
As Christians, whether couples, or individuals, we have a
responsability to be the best witnesses we can in our everyday lives.
At the moment it seems like you and your girlfriend are doing really
well in this regard in terms of avoiding physical temptation.
But....
I don't think moving in together is a good idea. For a start, it puts
you right in the way of physical temptation- its not running from it,
its inviting it. There would be far too many oppertunities to be
tempted. My housemate is getting married in about 3 weeks time, his
fiance also happens to be a really good friend of mine. One of the
things they are most looking forward to is having their own house.
They got it about 6 weeks ago, and ever since then they've been going
up, seperatley and together to get it ready. Doing things like moving
in some furiniture they've bought, painting some of the walls. But
they haven't eaten there, let alone slept there. For them, moving in
will be the thing to look forward to after their honeymoon. By moving
in with your girlfriend now, you wouldn't appear any different to
other couples, even if you weren't sharing a bed. You'd be taking one
of the things I think is really special about getting married.
Its great that your recognise that God has blessed your relationship
and hes helped you through things. I've seen the same happen with my
friends I mentioned above. God has provided for your relationship and
blessed it. Don't let impatience or thinking something will be easier
spoil what you have built.
God has provided for you, and he will provide for you. So pray. Ask
him to provide the right place for your girlfriend and you to live
seperatley, but close enough together so that you can continue the
relationship- remember to be always seeking to do his will.
You can't assume you'll one day get married. I know this can be
difficult at times (I'm single, but I know the desires of wanting to
be 'attached') but remember God knows what he is doing, so take your
time. Speak to people you trust at Church and ask them to keep an eye
on your relationship- for this sort of thing I'd say people who have
been married a while are probably the best to go to. Try and build a
friendship with them where you can be totally open and they can be
with you- let them challenege you about things, allow them to ask the
arkward questions, and be prepared to asnwer them!
One of my favourite books by a Christian author is 'Boy Meets Girl' by
Joshua Harris. I would recommend it to you. Its challenging, but easy
to read, and funny in places. If you are thinking that your girlfriend
might be the one God wants you to spend your life with, that book will
give you some guideance over things to things to be thinking about. In
that book the point is made- you don't belong to each other until you
say 'I Do'.
If you've got any more questions/thoughts etc and want to email me,
feel free.
Jeff